Why My Parents Still Use AOL

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Because Looking Up Is Just Too Hard

I'm not gonna lie. I am one of those people who walk down the street with my fauxblackberry and manage to not look up whilst texting. I'd like to attribute it to the fact that I usually only do this when I know the area well, i.e. near my places of employment. But I guess it's a bad habit none the less. However, I manage to not hit anyone or run into anything and even successfully send a lengthy text message. But apparently, there are people out there who just can't multi task. And some iPhone app creator has solved their problem. Introducing, the "E-mail 'n Walk."


It's an app that 'overlays an email composition window on top of the view from your iPhone's camera, so you can type out an email and watch where you're going.'

WUT.

Have we really gotten that lazy that someone had to make an iPhone application so we could see where we're going THROUGH OUR PHONE?? Insane. I actually imagine it would be harder to deliberately be focusing on texting and looking at the background of your phone at the same time. I would like to try this out. If anyone is willing to let me borrow their iPhone to do this, I will buy them DD's.

Ok so mainly, I just want to see if I can secretly stalk hot airbrush tattoo guy at work while making it look like i'm just texting. Priorities, people. Priorities.

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Fwd: Fw: FWD: Fw: Fw: Fw: Etc., Etc.,

Let's face it, my parents are not technologically savvy. I have never attempted to explain to them what AIM is, and what the difference is between that and e-mail. They only switched over from dial up to cable internet probably 3 years ago. And I'm pretty sure they still use AOL. Like the actual program, not just the e-mail program.

With this '@aol.com' e-mail, it's like they're still stuck in 1997 when forwards were cool. Literally, these are the only e-mails I receive from my parents. Here is a list of only a few of the subject lines from the e-mails they have sent me:

• Puppy Signs
• All About Banana (in which it says don't refrigerate your bananas or you'll die...or something like that)
• Rapists New Trick
• The Carrot, The Egg, and the Coffee Bean
• Blood Gangs Initiation

Clearly, every single one of these is essential in carrying out my daily life activities. This is one I received the other day, and I'm not really sure why I found this more comical than the others. May it was the Subject: "Fwd: FW: Fw: Fw: FW: Secret to Long Life." Or maybe it was the 7 or 8 lines on the side of the e-mail that got smaller in size as it got closer to the actual e-mail forward, denoting that many many many people have clicked forward and sent this very e-mail to unsuspecting friends. But here, I present to you the very forward I received from my parents, and I did not alter any of the pictures, fonts or contents. Enjoy.

Thought you might get a kick out of this! : )

secret to long life...

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.

__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 3950 (20090320 ) __________
The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
http://www.eset.com
__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 3950 (20090320 ) __________
The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
http://www.eset.com