This last pic reminds me of SYTYCD season 3, with top 4 finalists Danny & Neil dancing to a Mia Michael's contemporary piece.
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The Neiman Marcus provided description reads like bakery fan fiction. Slip this on and take a read:
Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the ‘hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What’s it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood…and mad genius. Launched at Burning ManSM as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors.
Mine will be flavored like money with a faint hint of “What college loans?”
Good thing I saw this before I made my Christmas list. I was just going to ask for every single item in the Sky Mall catalog. But this? This is WAY better.
^kinda blurry cell phone pic from 2nd row @ jimmy kimmel, as we weren't allow to bring real cameras :\ ^As far as the demise of this nation is concerned, pretty sure 00:53 of the infomercial explains it all, from the future diabetic obesity that these young child actors will experience, to the fact that they are the worst child actors we’ve ever seen around a giant cupcake. Not to mention the mom at the beginning, who is obviously manny-depressies and an alky. Then again, Big Top Cupcake with red wine center? Sign me up.
Ed. Note: A Big Cupcake = A Cake. Let’s not mix metaphors.
Prince Eric - The Little Mer (Please note his tatt)
Hercules - Hercules (I appreciate that the stance is true to character)
Kocoum - Pocahontas (Not gonna lie, he's my fave. And I like singing that part in "Just Around the River Bend" that goes "should I marry Kokoum??")
John Smith - Pocahontas (The OTHER white meat HEY-O)
Last, but certainly not least (because he will threaten you if you disagree) Gaston - Beauty & The Beast(Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)
Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”
Customer: “How much for my daughter?”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”
Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”
Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”
Me: “Adult websites.”
Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”
Obviously NOBODY in America is going to read this book with a cover like this. Perhaps if she unzipped that fleece just a little more… but even that would be too little too late. There is still time, though, Sarah. The book isn’t out until November, so I took the liberty of making a few touch-ups that I think will better attract this country’s reading population:
Traci:
wow i'm impressed with your research skills, dougherty. let's make up their story until we have the facts.
"Butterball, being a young and naive freshman at Freedom College, met Barb and her husband at a mixer (bible study) on campus in fall of 2007. the three soon became friends, and would reenact scenes from LOtR on the weekends. One night, whilst Mr. St. Cloud was away at ComicCon, Barb and Butterball brushed hands during a routine light saber fight. Their eyes met and they continued to stare into each others' eyes lustfully, until Mr. St. Cloud came home early from ComicCon. Wearing a Captain America costume, Mr. St. Cloud caught Barb and Butterball making lusty eyes at each other and declared divorce upon Barb (kinda like michael scott in this scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuGIgf-ICHM). Barb ran after Mr. St. Cloud and tugged at his cape, begging him to not go. But alas, just like Captain America, Mr. St. Cloud disappeared forever, leaving Barb to commiserate in the arms of Butterball. The rest is history
Molly:HAHAH! literally laughing out loud! LotR! ComiCon!
And making up a story until you have the facts is actually exactly what lawyers do. F'real.
So, according to FB Mr. Butterball went to HS in Canada. With that in mind, may I present my theory:
With RenFaire season in full swing, Mr. St. Cloud was working overtime in his smelting workshop, the sweat dripping from his brow to his rustic, burlap tunic. It isn't just that this was a big season for medieval-style swords and armor (though it was). Blinded by love, nose weakened by allergies, Mr. St. Cloud had not realized exactly who, or what, he was marrying. Now, he had grown disillusioned. Plaque grew heavy on Barb's gapped, snagly chiclet teeth. Her frizzy curls appeared wet with grease. Cystic acne covered her face, arms, and back. She smelled. St. Cloud dreaded his home life.
In the absence of her husband, Barb became ever-more involved in online roleplaying games. She spent all day looking forward to her chats and warcraft maneuvers with Butterball, a Canadian high school student. St. Cloud knew that, in the eyes of God, he was bound for life. So, he set to ironworking a renaissance style cross for the St. Cloud home. On their anniversary, St. C came home with his gift.
He was shocked to see Barb rocking in the fetal position, wrapped in a Canadian flag, watching Degrassi and rolling an eight-sided die. She would not even respond to St. Cloud. The wedding march blared from Barb's computer. On the monitor stood her WoW persona, Maiden Barb Fuzzybrow, at the altar with Butterballwyn the Brave! "Why can't it be real?" She cried.
St. Cloud threw down the iron cross, tears mingling with his own greasy hair and acne face. Within weeks, Barb was betrothed in both real AND virtual life. Cookie cakes abounded.
St. Cloud cannot hear "O Canada" without flying into a rage.
