Feel Free to Fall Into My Fist

In the Metro this week, there was a short article about the blog People Who Deserve It and listed the top 5 people according to its readers who deserve a punch in the face.

This blog has got me thinking, what other kind of people make me want to punch them in the face? Here a few that I personally believe deserve it (in no particular order).

1) Greenpeace Clipboard Holders
Don't get me wrong, I want to 'save the children,' and i'm totally for equal rights, but i don't ACTUALLY 'have a minute to save the environment.' Anytime I see one from far away, I try to walk in a different direction just so I don't get harassed by them. I mean more props to them for standing outside and getting rejected all day, but I have places to go, people to see. One time I was on the way to work and some guy (couldn't even tell you which charity he was a part of) was like "Would you like to take some time to save the dying koala bears of northern Ireland?" and I said "Sorry I'm late for work!" and kept walking. His response was "Come on, it'll just take a minute, you're late anyways!" I didn't stop.


2) Tall Guy at Concert
As a short person, I have to admit, that most people are taller than me anyways. I just find this frustrating when it's a general admission concert and there are many a fan in front of me who I can barely even peer over. This happened to me at a concert when a really weird, creepy, unkempt in his mid 40s guy - by himself - was standing in front of me at a concert. I wanted to push him over. Did I mention this was at a Backstreet Boys concert?


3) The people who sit directly in front of you in an otherwise empty movie theater
You know when you're just sitting there before the movie starts, feet up, relaxed, eating your popcorn and candy bought from CVS, attempting to answer the movie trivia questions, when there's a minute of so before the trailers begin, and you think this is great. this is going to be a good movie. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this couple decides to sit directly in front of you, making you put your feet down from the relaxed position... THERE ARE 200 MORE SEATS IN THIS THEATER AND YOU PICK THE ONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?!?!


4) Cell Phone Ring Avoider
This particular person was brought to my attention at work last month. I was working with Devin and another fellow co-worker, Judy (who I should probably write about at some point in this blog, because she is THAT interesting) when all of a sudden one of those annoying 'Tone 6 programmed in your phone' ringtone went off. Judy was with a customer, so she didn't hear it at first, but Devin and I looked at each other and then started looking around for someone who was going to answer their phone. A few people looked at their phones, and realized it wasn't theirs, yet the phone was still going off. It finally stopped. Devin nd I discerned it was a customer who was standing right by us. Her husband said "i think that's your phone." She responded by saying "Yeah, I know." She ignored it, without putting it on silent. Then it started ringing again, this time Judy does hear it and says rather loudly "WHOSE PHONE IS THAT??" Devin and I turn around to stop from laughing, and the woman goes "It's mine," and continues to keep shopping without putting it on silent!! Please note readers, DO NOT BECOME THIS WOMAN. EVER.

5) Tweens/Teens who think they're too cool for school
I've noticed this becoming a growing epidemic ever since I've graduated college. It's probably because I'm old now, but tweens these days are not like they used to be. Por ejemplo, I was on the T, again with Devin, and a group of about 7 or 8 teens got on and were clearly not in the right mind. A few of them were stumbling and making ridiculous statements. We just sat th ere in silence just so we could hear what they were saying. Here are a few highlights from their conversation:

"I need to write in my journal because it's going to be legendary"
"What does cliche mean?"
"She can suck all of our dicks." - said by girl. not all of them were guys, either.
"Sorry my mom doesn't give me money because I dropped out of high school"
"Guys, I'm so embarrassing! Everyone just saw my batman underwear. And if they didn't, they just heard about itWHATUP." tall, skinny jean-ed, overly flamboyant boy (who later fell on Devin)


Finally, the quote that sums up our T ride/their evening:
"Guys ... there's a 50% chance I'm going to vomit. Just putting it out there..."


And you know what I'm just putting out there, inebriated 15 year old girl? My fist for you to fall into next time I see you on the T disrupting my Metro crossword puzzle time.

TYVM.